Marriage
Marriage
Marriage is a very important step in every African woman’s life. Often the son will choose a wife and inform his father. Setting up that marriage then becomes the father’s responsibility. The mother will often ask around the village to insure the girl’s reputation and check for illness within the family. If the mother approves the father will then begin negotiations. Often times the girl’s family will do a similar check on the boy’s family. If they are both found acceptable the wedding plans begin (Levy 66). Instead of a dowry the husband’s family usually pays the bride’s family for their loss (Coquery-Vidrovitch 18). By the time of the wedding usually three payments are made: the “knocking fee” at the beginning of negotiations, another when the agreement is made, and the final when the girl is physically given to the groom (Levy 66).
In traditional Yoruba culture children are betrothed at a young age by their families. There is no concept of choice or romantic love. There is a bride price paid to the future bride's family. Half of this fee goes to the bride to help her set up a household. The remainder is divided among the family members to compensate for their loss. This bride price also gave the husband sole sexual access to his wife and rights over the children (Drewal 187).
The main role of the wife is to be a good child-bearer. Traditionally women are supposed to be virgins when they enter into a marriage. There are exceptions to this concept. In Ogooué-Maritime, Gabon, women are expected to prove their fertility by conceiving a child before marriage. If the child was male the future husband's family would take care of the baby and wait for a daughter before finalizing the marriage by paying the bride price. This would prove the girl's high quality (Coquery-Vidrovitch 18).
If at any time the wife left the conjugal home the family had to return the gifts it had received. Wives would not hesitate to return home, especially in matrilineal areas. Husbands rarely sent wives back. They would instead complain to his in-laws about any problems with his wife and urge them to help get her back on track (Coquery-Vidrovitch 19). In some tribes it is common for the woman to return home when she can no longer give birth. Among the Yoruba there is high divorce rate, but there is little to no stigma attached to being divorced (Drewal 189).
 |
| Dancers at a wedding in
Grand Bassam (Sheehan 97)
|